She didn’t reply even though she saw the message. I became worried thinking she might be devastated. When I got to campus, Lordina was waiting for me eager to know where and why I went. She was almost like a mother to me on campus. Even though we were yet to sleep together which couldn’t be prevented, I wanted to be in the right frame of mind. The load I was carrying was too much for my shoulders. It was as if I was being killed slowly and if I didn’t talk to someone sooner, I might end up killing myself. She was the only one I could talk to so I told her everything and how I was feeling. After everything I told her, she was angry I didn’t mention my relationship with Gifty to her. It took a while to calm her but I was scared she was hiding her fears behind that. Having known her for a while, that trivial information won’t make her angry.
She called it a day and left me without a word. I also didn’t hear from Gifty. It was a devastating night for me. One where I was constantly contemplating what to do next, how to commit suicide among others. I couldn’t sleep so I went to one of the school’s sports fields. It was around midnight but I cared less what would happen to me. I was at a point where nothing else mattered to me. When I went there, I saw some people romancing as usual and others skillfully having sex such that if you didn’t pay attention, you wouldn’t know. I wasn’t interested in those, I knew how and where it would end. So I just left to find a quiet place so as to clear my head. While I was there, I heard a soft, melodious, piercing, and at the same time comforting song. I tried to locate the feminine voice that was giving me hope. I walked in the direction of the voice as I couldn’t see clearly. Initially, I had no intention aside from listening to the song and appreciating its content. As I went closer, the song spoke to me on a personal level. So I kept my distance while listening to the song. She sang songs after songs and they were all touching. Some because of the content others because of her melodious voice. I didn’t know when I went on my knees crying like a baby but the next thing I knew was when I was being helped to stand up by the very girl who melted my heart and my soul. On any day, I would have thought she was an angel but I was too heartbroken, disappointed and miserable to even think. We spoke for awhile, I told her I was burdened among others but never mentioned any specifics to her. Since I wasn’t with my phone, I didn’t take her number. She sang a few more songs as I cried a little. She said it would help for me to cry it out. She had my head on her lap. It was amazing how she was bent on comforting me.
When we parted ways, I went straight to my room. Hoping I would have missed a call from Gifty or Lordina. I didn’t even get a message from Lordina but Gifty replied my message. I got the heartbreak of my life after reading her message. “Saint, I am so sorry. I really love you that is indisputable and I didn’t want to lose you at least not when I can protect you. I am…. I….am….HIV positive. My aunty didn’t give it to me, I gave it to her on purpose. I had it before my encounter with her but I was on medication. So when she started worrying me, I stopped taking my medication for awhile which made anyone who slept with me vulnerable. So I knew she might have it. I didn’t mention anything to you because I knew beyond reasonable doubt that you were safe. Please forgive me if this hurts you….” Her message read. I held the phone in my hand reading over and over again. All that came to mind was “Girls can be very wicked…” (Story Continues)
_______________________________ Written By: Benard Makafui Mordedzi